My sister could not have said it better in the last couple of posts…THANK YOU! There will always be continued thanks as we continue on this journey with Jared. We have come a long way in a years’ time but we still have a distance to go. And none of that would be possible without ALL of your graciousness, generosity and support for Jared, myself and family.
"We always thank God for all of you and ray for you constantly. As we pray to our God and Father about you, we think of your faithful work, your loving deeds and the enduring hope you have because of our Lord Jesus Christ". -1 Thessalonians 2
Jared’s Birthday was on November 17th, so it truly was a day to be thankful! This time last year, he was in a very different place, and different condition, as were we. Again, just to be able to spend that day of the year with him is beyond words amazing. Just to reflect a little bit, on his birthday last year we were in an LTAC facility, where he had just been moved to from the ICU. He was in a coma on a ventilator, in an acute state needing to be monitored very closely. We were praying for what now seems so small but then was ginormous, praying for his beautiful green eyes to open, praying for him to be able to breath on his own for the tiniest amount of time…LOOK AT GOD!
His birthday started a little early as we took Jared for a surprise car trip to visit his 98 year old grandpa, Jared’s favorite person on the planet. Jared’s grandpa lives only about 25 minutes away from Pate, but it is hard for him to be able to visit Jared, unless others bring him. So, if you can just imagine what a treat this was for him to see his first born grandson for the afternoon. I wish I could paint this beautiful picture in your mind at how (insert word that is magnanimously amazing) this moment was… we brought Jared in the house, and I think grandpa Mike still was unsure at who I had with me, but just AWE-some! Jared stood up right in front of grandpa and gave him a hug and a kiss. Just me thinking about how beautiful that time was of these two is so emotional. Jared and his grandpa have such a bond that cannot be described and so many memories together. Although, we got a few pictures and videos, it DOES NOT DO IT JUSTICE!
Didn't get this beautiful moment on video but him and grandpa were doing this thing with their hands, where Jared was mimicking grandpa... "here's the church, here's the steeple, open the doors, and see all the people"
This video will turn on the tears...
Birthday week had a couple of hiccups in it, as his feeding tube got clogged and decided it was no longer going to work. Jared had to go to the hospital on Wednesday (day before birthday), to get it replaced. It was noticed on Monday evening that it was not working, so he had a day and a half where he was not able to get as much fluids or tube feedings if needed and some of his medications that he was not wanting to take orally (I don’t blame him). When Thursday hit, he was still so tired, he had no energy to party like the rockstar he is. His body had little to no fuel in it so it was expected that he was going to want to nap on his birthday. We still managed to get a couple smiles and a picture out of him. And even though Jared was too sleepy to enjoy his birthday carrot cake that day, the rest of his house mates were thankful for it!
As you got to see on the last post, there were some hard to see photos of Jared from when his accident happened a year ago, but so much healing and progress we are so thankful for. This is not just a season for us to be thankful, but every day we are thankful for Jared’s existence here on this earth, we are thankful for even the most subtle things Jared is doing that he was not doing 6 months ago.
In the day to day I often don’t show it and very much forget in the moment to be grateful for those things, it isn’t until I really sit and reflect, pray or write things down like here that I take that moment to appreciate all that God is doing in our life when it comes to Jared, and the hard work that Jared is putting in every day.
The day to day is so different, as mentioned before, my day starts at 430am when I get up for work, leaving my house just shortly after 5am, starting my work day at 6am, where I am on my feet in the operating room all day taking care of patients and being an integral team member in surgery. When my shift at work is done at 3pm, I start my long hour and fifteen minute drive up to Anna, TX to spend the rest of my day with Jared until about 8 or 9pm. After a 45min drive home, then there is little time to eat dinner, decompress, and get ready for bed before the next day starts again.
In that time with Jared, I am always wanting more, which is no surprise to my family. These are the times I get caught up in the “do this, do that,” “why aren’t you doing this for me” moments, and I forget about how hard he has already worked for the day, just as I have done; how he isn’t a circus animal expected to show me tricks and tasks on command; and how even though he is recovering from a traumatic brain injury, he is still Jared (thank the Lord), and he is a 43 year old man, who is just as stubborn as he was before and has free will and isn’t going to do what he doesn’t want to do. Just like all of us, just because we “can do” something, doesn’t mean we want to or will. My sister, Kristel has to often remind me of that.
"Don't worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." -Philippians 4:6 (NLT)
For those of you that do not know my sister, Kristel or Krissy as the family calls her, she uprooted her life from Houston last November to move here to help (an understated word) me and Jared out in the most difficult time of our lives. I have received praise from her on here with being a good wife, but it is now my turn to put the spotlight on her. She is a true servant in God’s work, not just in Jared’s life and mine but so many others. When my body, brain and heart wanted to give out, she has been here to render aid. I would not be here today without her help in countless ways. For someone to say she is just his sister-in-law, could not even begin to know what these two have shared in the last year. She has sat with Jared 8 hours a day at his bedside when he was in a coma every day of the week; where she was fortunate to work remotely, because I needed to be at work. We joke sometimes about the things we have learned on this journey, things we had to do, things we were/are fortunate to do to help with Jared’s care. If you would have told her before this that one day she would be suctioning around Jared’s trach site, cleaning him, working him out while he was in a coma in bed, pushing Jared around in a huge Barton chair around the nursing home just so he could get out of bed, and some fresh air, taking days off of work and her scheduled life things to be at appointments with Jared, helping with the day to day tasks that a family member would never typically do, I don’t know that she would have believed you. The list goes on and on for what she has done for him and continues to show up for everyday! I ask that you lift her up and put her in your prayers if not already as she is one of the biggest warriors on Jared’s journey and definitely his number one cheerleader and hype squad! Some of my favorite pictures of these two.
She joins me almost every day with Jared. Yes, somedays it can be more trialing than others, especially if he is feeling “froggy” as we say, but mostly a lot of fun just getting to spend time with him and see his personality come out again. She is here to give me a break when I need one, to run errands, self-care, or usually just to sleep in a little bit. She has done more for Jared this last year than anyone else (for those of you that really know me, you know what I mean). When this journey first started, we would always hear from people, “I can’t believe you would do all this,” and her response was always the same, “this is what family is supposed to do.” It is not work or an inconvenience or burden as others may see it, it is a blessing to be able to do so because God did not take him from us that day, so every day Jared is alive is a blessing.
Therapy Updates
Physical Therapy, Jared is doing ALL THE WALKING! He walks around the different therapy buildings, outside up and down a hill! Yes, I said a hill. From where Jared does therapy to the house he stays in, there is a steep hill in between, with a narrow sidewalk, and some uneven surfaces. This hill will make any able body person think about life twice, it definitely is a challenge. So, it is so cool to hear from his physical therapist that he is doing it so well. As we have mentioned before Jared is very curious in his sessions, so when he is walking around the buildings he is wanting to duck into people's offices and say hello, open every door that he may walk by to see what's inside and take a seat in every chair he passes. We have seen that when Jared is not wanting to stand up he is wanting to sit in any other chair other than his wheelchair.
The more Jared is doing at therapy, the more rest he needs as well. So many afternoons after his 6 hours of therapy, and especially on weekends are used for him to be able to rest and restore his energy for the next day. It really got me thinking about how hard he is working. Yes I work in an environment where I am on my feet for 8-12 hours a day and always in motion, however most people are not. Many sit at desks and are stationary or even at home in their pajamas for most hours of the day, Jared is doing the complete opposite of that. He is relearning so many tasks that we do naturally without even thinking about it, and he is doing them over and over, so I know that he is tired of those things most often.
We are all collectively working on toileting, and finding ways to better communicate with him regarding those needs.
Occupational therapy, I think is one of Jared's least favorite sessions as it is not as "fun" as others like speech where he gets to eat and drink, or PT where he gets to get up out of his chair and walk or kick a soccer ball. And although OT may not be as playful as some of the other sessions, it is very important for getting back to normal everyday life. Things like getting dressed himself, being able to pull his shirt and pants on and off, being able to brush his teeth and wash his face, going to the bathroom, feeding himself etc.
Speech therapy, is one of my favorites, because I love getting to hear Jared’s voice, and boy do I miss it! His speech therapist works so hard with Jared on him using his voice again, we know that he can speak loud and at a conversational level, and he does with Raegan, so it is exciting to know that he is on the cusp of those big things. She works with him on strengthening his swallow, with both foods and thin liquids. As he progresses with his diet, we are working on quick swallows and eating and drinking larger quantities at meal times. Jared has an upcoming swallow study next week, so we ask for prayers for that to go gloriously.
We are so grateful that we are seeing so much more movement and dexterity from his right side. For so long this side was still healing and so weak, as it is his dominant side, we love seeing him get into more mischief with both his hands moving around. He still has some weakness on that side, but we are hoping with another round of botox injections that will help with that.
We have started on the bathroom remodel to make things accessible for Jared when he comes home. I am excited, anxious and nervous about it all. We would greatly appreciate for anyone to share Jared’s story including his GoFundMe link with others, as everything that is left and raised is going towards our bathroom renovation to make it wheelchair accessible for him. ($20k)
We had a great Thanksgiving, where I was able to bring Jared HOME! This was the first time since his accident he has been back in our house, so it was a day of so many emotions. Let me just tell you he did not want to leave, but more to come on the next blog post...
PRAYER REQUESTS:
Continued medical insurance coverage for Jared at Pate (he's gone from a 30 day approval window to a 15 day approval period, so we're now submitting 2x a month)
Jared's voice continue to grow stronger and louder -- we want to hear those praises ROAR!
Jared continue to progress with eating and swallowing so his PEG tube can be removed, His swallow study goes well on Tuesday 11/29
Jared grow stronger in his daily living activities and move towards minimal assist, even better NO ASSIST!
The bathroom remodel to be done safely, in a timely manner and at minimal cost.
Continued prayers of strength, patience and forgiveness for myself
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